Late Talker Strategies: The Power of a Pause
Your child has so much information to share with you - what they want, what they like, how they feel, what frustrates them, and so much more. Often with late talkers, parents and teachers ask the child questions in the hope that they will get a response - “Maybe I need to repeat the question a few more times!” Families are sometimes surprised when I tell them that asking questions sometimes works the OPPOSITE of how they think it will. It can also be frustrating for families to think “My child isn’t responding right away, so I have to tell them what to say, or do it for them.” If you have a late talker in your home, you may have noticed that sometimes the repetitive questions can lead to frustration, shutting down, or one-word answers.
There is so much power in a pause. Waiting gives your child time to start an interaction, process a word or question, and then show you what they know. If you pause when giving your child a direction, you give them a chance to independently follow through instead of relying on prompts. If you pause when giving your child a new example of a word or phrase, you are giving them an opportunity to imitate. Giving a child more wait time also gives you, the parent, time to STOP and observe, and give your child the message that you’re ready for them to talk. When your child has a few extra seconds for those wheels to turn, they have an opportunity to follow through independently. Before jumping in and interrupting with more questions, wait a few more seconds. Even if it feels long, they may still be processing - and their response after a pause may surprise you!
We want to give children models of rich, complex language. We can do this by narrating throughout the day while cleaning, cooking, shopping, working, and (my favourite) telling stories at bedtime; however, there is also a time to slow down, PAUSE, & see how your child responds when given extra time to respond. They may become accustomed to having others jump in and talk for them (including an older sibling). To give them a chance to communicate independently, try the following tips at home:
1) Create verbal routines in play, make it clear you are giving them a turn, WAIT for their response.
There are many fun games without toys that depend on YOU for entertainment. This can look like a game of tickles, chase, piggyback, blowing and popping bubbles, etc. Choose a few target words for one of these favourite games.
For example:
Instead of repetitively questioning “Do you want some tickles? Do you? Want me to tickle you? Say ’tickle me’ and you’ll get more tickles!” try to give a turn and wait. Start by saying your target word “tickle” and give them a few seconds of tickles to show them. Do this say + do routine of tickles a few times.
After a few times, PAUSE, put your hands up and say “tickle…?” while looking at them, and wait a few extra seconds to see if they will imitate the word.
If they don’t, say “tickle” again to show them, and of course, give them tickles anyways - we don’t want to withhold things and frustrate them when trying to encourage communication. If they do say it, give them an excited reaction and plenty of extra tickles to show them how meaningful this is.
The PAUSE time should be 4-5 seconds or more.
2) Think about creating communication temptations.
A communication temptation is when you create a situation to encourage the child to speak. If a child can just grab a toy off the shelf quickly and easily, they don’t need to ask you for it or include you! It is important to make sure that we are not frustrating a child by withholding toys or activities until they speak. In some cases, a child might not be ready yet to speak and they need more time and exposure to the word before they can say it. Give opportunities and cues to communicate, and then give the model and follow through with the activity.
For example:
Take out a bubble wand, and say “bubble!” each time before you blow bubbles. After a few rounds, put the wand back in the container - then Give a model for the word: “bubble…” and PAUSE. If they don’t imitate it, say the word again (repetition is helpful!) and start blowing bubbles again. Try this after a few more turns!
Put a toy in a clear box that the child can’t open. Say “open…” and then PAUSE to see if they imitate it. If not, say “open” again a few times while opening the box (give them lots of exposure to these words.)
Get a balloon, and say either “balloon!” or “blow!”, then blow up a balloon until it’s full. Say a target word, i.e. “balloon” again, or “go!” and then let go of the balloon - kids love watching a balloon fly around the room! Hand the deflated balloon to the child or let them go get it for you. When they hand it to you, say again: “balloon…” or “blow…?” and PAUSE. If they don’t imitate after about 5 seconds: you guessed it, say the word again and keep the fun going. Continue to give them exposure and support when learning early words . .
How else can you add meaningful pauses to your child’s play and home routines?
**As always, this blog post does not replace an assessment or individualized recommendations for speech-language therapy by a certified SLP. Contact a speech-language pathologist to ensure that your family member is receiving the right supports to help them grow.